no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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