he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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