Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
