home. puking in laundry basket.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
