I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
