Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
vagina is talking i cant
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
The ass gains better be worth it
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
