apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
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If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
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We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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