No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
