no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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