apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
