Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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