i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
