sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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