Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
