He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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