Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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