My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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