omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
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If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The adults are the big ones right?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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