Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
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Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
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If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize