Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
