my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
birth control should be required to get into college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize