I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
