So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
