I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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