he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
