The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
two words...techno handjob
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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