you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize