last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
