I seem to have left my pride at pride
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
