I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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