Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
