I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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