Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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