At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
