U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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