I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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