You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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