The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
