we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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