There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Randomize
