dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
