Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
