i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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