Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
