I wish I could punch you in the face.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
