No stitches, just platelets and will power
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
