never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Redeem this text for a blowjob
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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