.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
smell my finger.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
