Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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