he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
