Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
