If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize