I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
