OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
