her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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