508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
you had me at cake vodka
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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