i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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