so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize