please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize