The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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