"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
