nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize